Knock it the Fuck Off

I try.

I mean, I really try.

But I think I should just admit it: I am shallow and judgmental and I form prejudices about people based on how they look.

And I do it to women, even though I am one and even though I'm guilty of occasional behaviours for which I exceedingly harshly judge other women. (Skirt's maybe too short, top too tight or too low, too much makeup.) I'm starting to become the sort of woman I used to despise. I feel weird without makeup and my jeans are all so tight they leave seam imprints on my skin.

I also feel loftily superior to women when I think they're behaving badly.

Look, stop showing off your navel piercings. It isn't sexy. It's like the one piercing I cannot stand to see on anyone. I would rather see a scrotal piercing or nipple rings. For some reason the belly button piercing--which I seem to be the only woman who doesn't have one--are infinitely trampier than walking around with your labia piercing hanging out.

Belly-baring is probably a pet peeve only because I can't do it myself. I look like I'm a good few months into a pregnancy. Stop showing off your stomach. Get a top that actually goes down the whole way.

And stop showing your fucking thongs.

And your tramp stamps. That's like the one place I refuse to ever have myself inked.

Stop bleaching the fuck out of your hair and take the stupid blue contacts out.

The light/nude/shiny lip trend is ugly and you look like your lips are made of the same material they make school bus seats out of.

Put some clothes on. If you want to show back or leg or cleavage or whatever, fine. But don't let your bits show in public and just pick one thing to show off. Leave a little something to the imagination.

And also I am not likely to want to have sex with you if the impression you give off is one of 'anything you can think of I will do for the price of a pint'. And I will fuck anybody. I don't care if you look like a high-class hooker or a $20 one. If you look like you could be paid to put out, you need to reevaluate how you're presenting yourself.

The end.