Brawlin'

So, I think I have enough experience as a girl and as a person who got into an awful fucking lot of fights in school to talk about this. It's 'girl fighting'. And every stereotype that goes with it.

And I'm not going to say what you think I will.

First of all, girls fight. No, we do. Maybe not that often and it's maybe not as big a deal, but girls fight. There's this stereotype that girls don't get into fights--it's so pervasive and deeply-ingrained that I actually successfully used it to my advantage as a kid in order to fucking get away with fighting as much as I did. Since girls don't fight, and small cute girls especially don't fight, no one was willing to report that I had kicked their ass and they were even less likely to be believed in the event they did. Why do my genitals and stature immediately influence my proclivity and ability to get into physical altercations? They don't. Girls fight. Full stop.

I also don't understand how or why stereotypical 'girl fight moves' are so laughable. Or are considered 'fighting dirty'. Or are just plain unacceptable. People actually think that girl fights don't count as fights because so much of it consists of no one actually fighting. Well, maybe they don't. But guy fights don't either. Guys throw punches when they fight and try to put each other in headlocks, but 90% of any given guy-fight is spent circling each other, trash-talk, spitting, and not technically making contact with anyone else. You can't have it both ways, people.

And pulling hair, scratching, biting, eye-clawing, and the like aren't 'fighting'? Or they don't count and are 'playing dirty'? Except for professional settings, the whole fucking point of a fight is to break the fucking rules. Either you're breaking the rules, or there are rules to be followed. Again, you don't get both. No, girls don't just swing at each other. Yes, they sometimes claw and pull hair. But so what? Why is that disallowed? Why doesn't that 'count'? It's still a fight. That's like saying a chihuahua isn't a dog because it's small. It just looks a little different, but I assure you, it is in fact a dog.

Look, here's the thing about clawing and pulling hair: there's nothing wrong with either of these. Personally I see them as legitimate tactics. And smart ones. If you claw someone's eyes at arm's length, you're attempting to disable them and keeping them away from you at the same time. That's not a bad plan. Same with pulling hair--if you can grab a fistful of hair, you can control the opponent's head, which makes the rest of them pretty easy to control as well.

Enough about 'fair fighting' and shit. There is no such fucking thing. If you're going to get into a fight, do whatever the fuck you want. I don't fight anymore, mostly because I'm not bullied anymore and also because I'm an adult now and can be put in jail for doing it. The only legitimate excuse I can come up with for getting into a fight at my age would be if I felt I was otherwise in danger.

And in those circumstances, you and I and everyone else are completely entitled to do whatever the fuck we want in order to not die.

So shut the fuck up about 'girl fights'. It's still a fight. I'm just as capable of biting you as I am of punching you in the fucking face.